I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
