so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Randomize
