I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Randomize
