u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
