They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
