When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
