I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
