Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
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the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
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Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
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