doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
