Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
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