That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
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