She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize