he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Randomize
