She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
