what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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