Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
one might say we're banned from that church
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
