i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize