i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
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