just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Randomize
