How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
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I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize