Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
