He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Randomize
