You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
