Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Randomize
