I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
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