come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
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