Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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