he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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