You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Farmville is her only friend.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
