pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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