Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
