dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
And then the night went full on bisexual.
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