I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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