ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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