i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
