escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
I want to fling myself into the sun
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
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