All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
