I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
