are you still at the devil's house?
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Randomize
