Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
I will pee on everything he values.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
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