come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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