so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
