this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize