Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Randomize
