i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
