You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
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If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
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Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
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