apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Randomize
