Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Randomize
