Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
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