best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize