Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize