I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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