Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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