I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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